Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
