Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
