Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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