Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Non-Jews are for practice
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
