So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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