i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
