i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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