i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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