chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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