Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
