Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
