She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
