The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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