Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I need moral support for this bender
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
