porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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