but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
