just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You took a bar mat shot.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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