plz talk dirty to me
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
