If i come over, it means nothing
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
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