dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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