If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
