He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Fuck appropriateness.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
