You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize