There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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