um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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