I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
