She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
