Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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