loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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