Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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