I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
