i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
