Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
