she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
