Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
