Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
