yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
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