Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
