she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
