sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My vagina is very pro this idea
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
