is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I think a kid would responsible me up
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
