Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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