Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
