i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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