Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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