omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
