Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
