it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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