I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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