So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
You can't motorboat a personality
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
