Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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