i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Randomize
