yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
