Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I have aggressive nipples.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
