Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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