WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize