Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?

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(415): View more from California

worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.

Fav 13 921 4871
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(252): View more from North Carolina

Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder

Fav 26 2028 5463
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog

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(303): View more from Colorado

I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away

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(519): View more from Ontario

You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up

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(540): View more from Virginia

casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?

Fav 16 2703 1676
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(517): View more from Michigan

You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.

Fav 1 145 107
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(847): View more from Illinois

Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless

Fav 0 71 37
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