Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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