i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize